Dear Mountain Boy,
the past 2 days have been particularly out of the ordinary for the both of us...I don't know if it's because I made you watch Finding Nemo that made you fear losing me, or that you are sensing the imminent arrival of your younger sister. Either way, you are not letting me out of your sight from the moment you see me. You're grabbing on to my thighs when i want to take a bath, you're hanging on tight to my hands when we go out. There are moments where you bury yourself in my chest and sob like i'm gonna leave you.
You know what baby boy, I will be here for you as long as i'm alive, and for as long as you want me in your life. It hurts me more than you know when i think about how you might assume that i won't love you as much when your sister comes. I wish, I really wish, that you can be my only child forever so you'll never have to "share" our love.
Let me tell you the truth. You will have to learn how to share your toys, share the time you have of us, share your food, your clothes, your belongings, but you'll never ever have to share our love for you. It doesn't work that way and you'll only understand the day you become a parent. When i gave birth to you, I also gave birth to a whole new depth of emotions that i never had before, i.e. you helped me experience a new type of love, i didn't have to take love away from someplace else, i just have more. In the same way the birth of your new sister will bring on additional love in all three of our lives- your dad, myself and especially you. You will be a big brother!
A lot of people who know you including the teachers at school and us believe that you will be a wonderful brother. You are already very good at sharing and helping. You are always cheerful, you are kind and gentle, you have no idea how much joy you give me everyday.
My baby boy. We love you. You'll always be special in our eyes.
Kiss kiss,
mama
2 comments:
Not a mum myself and so, havent experienced the kind of additional love which MB doesnt have to share with his little sister but trust that you are right on that count. Also, it's a very beautifully written post. :)
This was exactly how I felt when pregger with Nat2. I actually teared, feeling so sad that Nat will no longer have all our time. Well, you are indeed right that our love/heart grows more to love 2 children. :)
And if anything, we also made a conscious effort not to neglect Nat1, so end up, Nat1 has more of our time than ever. HAH.
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