Thursday 3 May 2012

Lily Inspired: Esteemed

Dear Lilybuff,

If you're reading my entries chronologically down the years, you may find that my entries to you are not chronologically organized according to the natural progression of your life. Sorry about that, i'm haphazard that way.

4 years ago on this date, your dad and I got married. The days were long but the years went by quickly. Your dad recently uploaded our wedding pictures unto the new iPad3 that he just bought. I looked at the pictures feeling both happy and sad because it reminded me of the beautiful yesteryears...Or rather the yesteryears where I was still beautiful/slim. I have been lamenting about how fat i've gotten after 2 kids. He half-jokes about how he knew i was going to be big after he met my mom (sorry mom). And frankly i knew this was coming but i just didn't think it'd be so fast. He of course then tells me that he too has gotten fat. True. But it doesn't make me feel better about myself.

The point of this entry is not how you should keep yourself slim, because i obviously don't know the secret to that. But I just wanna say that you need to be able to find a man who loves you and your potentially expanding hips/waistline/thighs/arms/feet (yes feet too). And the secret to finding a man who loves you is to love yourself first. 

I had a chat with Mountain Boy's teacher, she's someone whom i respect and run to for advice on parenting. She said that for girls, a high self-esteem is very important. (Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth). Without which the girl may get into future trouble when she seeks validation from the wrong sources. Girls with low self-esteem are prone to sexual abuse, unwanted pregnancies, prostitution etc. And as a mother, it's my duty to protect you, to love you, and to teach you how to love yourself.

A friend once told me... "A boy must by paupered, a girl must be pampered". Actually i coined the english version myself and i'm proud of it, but it's derived from a chinese saying. Reason being a boy needs to be toughened and trained so that he can be the head of the family, but a girl on the other hand needs to be showered with constant love and attention so that she will have high expectations of her future husband. Sounds like a recipe for neediness but it's just the opposite. The more secure you are, the less needy you will be, makes sense? It's more about providing a safe and honest environment where you can develop a sense of self-worth. I say honest because I will let you know when I think you are doing well and when you are not, otherwise i'd just be nurturing an egomaniac which is not the goal here.


It's going to be a long process but we're in this together. 


PS: Happy Thirdmay Mountain Man. Love your expanding waistline too.

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