The weekend that just passed felt like the longest weekend but not in a good way. It was non-stop slavery for 48 hrs because the nanny went on leave. For once in my lifetime, i really looked forward to Sunday evening, specifically the moment when T goes to sleep at 830pm.
Last night after that last feed, the whole room was dark and i can finally hear silence again. I felt a kind of peace in my heart that i couldn't explain. I said a little prayer to thank God for giving me such a beautiful baby.
I've always believed that it was better to love than be loved. The feeling of loving someone is more intensed and makes u do crazier things. Before i gave birth i've always wondered if Love was finite. Maybe things between Mountain man and i would change because i would have to divide my love for him, maybe 50/50 between him and the baby (or 40/60). But God in His amazing ways have proven that human beings are capable of creating more love out of a screaming-pooping-burping baby.
It is such a privilege to be a woman because i get the chance to experience maternal love. My heart is so overwhelmed with a love so deep that i think only a mother can understand. So there u go... One good reason to become a mother.
Caveat: all these loving feeling MAY/WILL disappear during the day when u have to scrub shit stains off the sheets.
8 comments:
That's really sweet. :)
Thanks for sharing your experiences, it makes me feel less fearful about this whole shebang called motherhood!
xx
I so agree with you about this intense love. So unconditional, so deep it makes me want to cry for no good reason sometimes!!
Keke! I'm still 'iffy' about the birthing! Eeww!
Very true!
I have a friend who have been hesistant about having a 2nd child. Coz they believe or thought that their love will be divided among their two kids.
Which i tot its nonsense.
I sometimes hug Amanda so tightly that I wonder if she's uncomfortable.
My friend have decided to have their 2nd child.
heee! maybe it will be 30-30-30 for her... hee!
When the moment comes, the vids you took will come in handy!
Dylan is really very adorable.:)
yann> U will be a great cool mommy when ur time comes.
Yuling> i know wht u mean. can't imagine my life without him.
Pebbles> believe me the "iffiness" doesn't go away even after birth!
judebabe> yah more baby more love. i don't believe in the dividing.
hbmb> thank you. i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks so!
Totally agree, was apprehensive when Kirsten (no.2) came along, used to wonder since I couldn't love Tru (no.1) anymore - would i love her less?
Well seems like a mother's love is not quite like a pie. There's always room enough for one more!
That being said, I wouldn't mind giving myself a bit of time till no.3..
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