Lily Inspired: Friend or Foe?

Feels like it's time for another Lily Inspired entry.

I read a while back on 2 separate occasions articles related to females and their friends. The first was called "Breaking up with your girlfriend" and the other was "Toxic Friendships". I have my 2 cents worth on the topic of gals and their pals.

In life you will meet a lot of people. Some of these people will grow into a stronger attachment and you call them friends. Friends are extremely important. Like a tree, friendship needs time to cultivate. You need to give it water, sunlight, oxygen and ample space to survive (for girls the last point is literal). The friends you make early on in life will grow the deepest roots. These are friends that i consider "childhood friends". And these are the friends you will most likely keep for a long time, if the foundation was set right.

As you get older, the social circle changes. You go into different tertiary education, different workspace, different stages of your life, meet all kinds of other friends... Only the ones who withstand the test of time will keep in touch and be friends for life. It also helps if these friends evolve with you and remain socially relevant. e.g., when u become a mother they become a mother too. I'm not saying you have to be friends with people who are absolutely the same as you are but having common topics to discuss always helps.

To cut the long story short, you'll make all kinds of friends with different levels of depths and relevance. Getting to my point now....

Of all these people that you meet, a few will disappoint you. And you will disappoint a few... Some will make you cry, you will make some cry. These unhappy incidents will get you down, there will be feelings of regret, second guessing, maybe a little anger... But that's okay, it happens. Just don't dwell on to it for too long, just move on with life.


I'm not asking you to be cavalier about friendship. Put your heart and soul in it. But recognize when the friendship is no longer productive, or even worse it's destructive. Put an end to it. Don't be afraid to break up. It's easy to fall into the "pleasing everybody" trap, but "pleasing everybody" is a sign of character weakness, it means that you lack the self-confidence so you need to "please everybody" in order for them to like you. Instead, be nice to your friends because you are sincere. Be reliable because you are accountable to yourself. Be giving because you are generous. Believe that you are a decent human being because i'm going to groom you to be one, i'll make sure of it. You know, the friends who do the "please everybody" act actually end up being the worse friends because once they get you to like them their personality perks disappear. That's when you'll need to banish them.

I once read somewhere that at any one point, you only need 6 friends in your immediate circle to function. So u see, it's not that hard.

Halloween Hooters

We had a blast at this year's Halloween Party. There's nothing like hanging out with people you really care about, make memories together and always have something to talk about years down the road.

Here are some pictures from today.

3 Hooters! It's very hard to get a decent family picture taken.

Papa and Mama owl... I don't know why we look so formal here. I tell Mountain Man that we used to be more "fun".

Mountain Man and Boy together. Mountain Boy decorated his very own dorky specs with minimal help from Daddy. He is really a budding artist according to his teachers!

Getting his face drawn by one of the older girls. It's such a smart alternative to a mask, he had been refusing to wear his!

Making "music" with a butter cookies tin. The kids banged and clanged in unison, supposedly emulating STOMP. It wasn't too bad.

Here's our halloween pictures from 2007 and 2010. By next year i'll have a make a 4th costume for baby girl!

Time 2 Paaarrrtty!

Sometime last month, Mountain Man and I debated whether we should organize a birthday party for Mountain Boy. It'd be nice to celebrate his 2nd year with friends we love, but i also knew that it wasn't something we'd be able to keep up every year. Plus, i'm carrying around 7 months of pregnancy weight and i was growing more and more tired by the day. Mountain Man suggested a "relaxed" party and i wondered what "relaxed" meant, and who would be the one feeling "relaxed". I never knew the word could apply to party planning. Anyway, we kept the guest list tight. 7 families with an average of 2 kids each. So that would come up to about 30 odd people.

There were quite a number of setbacks during the day which upset me. The oven broke down which meant that i couldn't bake the perfect pizza i wanted, the stove wouldn't start, and somehow when it did the chicken wings were almost burnt every batch. The kitchen god must have taken the day off.

Thankfully the guests were gracious with praise for whatever food was served on the table. And many later on sent text messages saying how much they enjoyed the party. I was completely exhausted by the end of the night i could only afford to go to the toilet when my bladder was very very full, and even then i had to waddle-limp.

What made it most worthwhile though was how Mountain Boy felt the excitement for days leading up to HIS birthday party (which he now understood). Seeing how he clapped along during his birthday song and how he blew out his own candles just made me swell (not that i'm not swollen enough already) with pride.

Here are some pictures from the night:

Mountain Boy chose the colours of his balloons and it was a surprisingly good combination. I would have just gone with yellow and purple. We bought a helium canister and blew up the balloons ourselves, it was a lot of fun. I also stuck photos of our family all around the house to give the walls a pop of colour.

Kiddo friends...

Savoring the burnt chicken wings. He has no complaints!

Mountain Boy had been waiting for this moment for days! He was clapping along and went "Yay!" when the song ended. Sooo cute...

Just us 3 (almost 4).

Goodbye and Good Night

Deep down, I'm a sentimental person. I always tell Mountain Man about how i miss the times with X and Y friends and how i wish i could go back.

This month, a couple who has been quite pivotal in us settling down in Beijing is leaving for home. Boy am i gonna miss them. The eating, talking cock, drinking (speaking for Mountain Man not I), traveling, house gatherings, more eating... you know, things singaporeans do. Beijing life is definitely less colourful without Gingerblossom and the husband, and I will now have less motivation to explore new eating places. But most of all, I will soo miss the people that they are.

Thanks so much for the friendship you've extended and for being so considerate in accommodating our family countless times... We wish you all the best in rebuilding your lives back home and we hope to join you some day.

Gingerblossom: I'll always read your blog so don't stop writing.

xoxo,

Ngs.

Homecooked farewell dinner: "Acar" (pickled vegetables) and "Nasi tim" (Indonesian Chicken Rice).

Aaarrhhmm....(Updated photos from playdate)

Mountain boy had a playdate with Bubbles last week when he was back in Singapore. Both kiddos had a lot of fun, i was surprised by how well they interacted with each other. They even "fed" each other wheat pancakes! It was so funny, too bad the camera was out of battery so we didn't take that many pictures.

These are from Corsage's iphone.

Don't they look cute sitting on the mini-kopitiam armchairs?

Bubbles: Can i have your pancake?

Mountain Boy: Nnnnnope!

Finders keepers. Let's see who picks up the pancake first.

How about we play a guessing game and the winner gets the pancake?

Anyway I came back really inspired to make wheat pancakes for Mountain boy. He is quite good with eating bite-size food like diced fruits and biscuits, but i didn't realise he couldn't handle one pancake! He swished the pancake around on the table and most of it ended up on the high-chair and on the floor. I know playing with food is frowned upon, but we really had a great time!

Here's a video of him eating and feeding mommy pancakes!

Friends are made of these...

A fellow stepford wife has been posted to Shanghai. We mourned over her move by finding excuses to meet up almost every single day during her last week.

Seriously, friends have made motherhood bearable/pleasurable. They are not just the icing on the cake, they ARE the cake. Most of them have kids older than Mountain Boy so it's great that i can take a cue and learn from their successes and "mistakes".

All the best in Shanghai. Thank you for being so genuine and caring, you have been such a great company for the past year. I really mean it when i say that i look up to you as a mother. I miss you already.

XOXO

Hello, we're back!

Apologies for the long hiatus. I didn't bring a laptop to SG so i didn't get much access to the internet. Actually even if i did, i wouldn't have time to blog cos i was just so crazy busy. Looking after T without the help of a nanny was just insane.


We were doing something every waking minute- change nappy, bathe, wash bottles, sterilise, express milk, pat to sleep, playtime, feed... T was also incredibly fussy the first 2 days due to the extreme change in temperature (from -10 to 30 degrees celsius). On top of all that there is the stress of flying with an infant, i was so afraid that he may cry non-stop or hurt his ear during take-off and landing. I was so stressed that my milk supply dipped and i had to supplement him with formula.

But given our trepidations during this trip, we've also encounered many milestones, and we learnt alot more about him too!

1. He now flips on his own without any assistance (at 3.5 months!).



2. He makes a new face.



3. Increased his vocabulary, now he makes the Darth Vader sound "kkhhhhh, kkkhhhhhh" and "AarrRRrrrrr", like he is about to say Arrribah...
4. Found his toes so he loves to grab his socks and pull them off.
5. In general, he prefers women to men. Mountain man says he likes to "kuah char boh" cos his eyes always follow pretty women.
6. He likes to play rough. The louder, the more shocking the better.
7. He can sleep in noisy places at night. We went to Holland V for drinks, went to friends' place to play mahjong/chit chat, and he even slept through very loud "yum seng" at a wedding.
8. At night, he can sleep on his own without patting, rocking, singing. Just leave him in his cot, he'll cry softly and fall asleep!
9. Last but not least, not really a milestone, but it's a decent family picture in 4 months.

Happy 4 months T, mom and dad are so proud of u. For more pictures of our 12 days stay in SG, click here.

Yeehaa!

This little ox celebrated his first month party at a cowboy bar called Tim's Bar-BQ this afternoon. Nothing fancy, we just wanted a simple affair where adults can enjoy good food, an afternoon beer and each other's company.

Our little family feels so blessed and grateful that over 60 people graced this special occasion. Other than our Singaporean friends, 80% of the guests were colleagues of Mountain man and I (we work in the same company), and they've been nothing but supportive and caring towards the both of us throughout the pregnancy. All of them were really excited to meet T for the first time...


See how popular he is, hoards of people surrounded him when he arrived. They even greeted him (and me) with a warm round of applause. Like some celebrity...hehe.

Grandma Mary brought T round to the tables as well. This photo is classic. The office Ahyis requested a picture of them looking at T, and T looked back! so sweet...

We were so busy entertaining the guests that we forgot to take pictures of ourselves! I had my own mini photo-taking session at home with the little celebrity.

Bad camera angle revealing his double chin!

Actually until now we've not taken a family photo together. I wanted to wait for mountain man to come home but it was too late cos he peed on his new bumblebee/wolverine outfit already.

Happy 1 month old T! So many people love you!

prelude to 0909

First part of the bdae celebrations took place last saturday, many thanks to the gracious Tay Family for opening their place for an evening of makan and cake.

So here are the latest pictures of me, sans makeup. Totally fat and ahsoh-ish... but nowadays really got no mood to dress up. Not even when i know there are gonna be cameras around.

Do u think mountain man and i are starting to look alike? uh oh, tht means mountain man look like ahsoh. Haha. Just kidding... but we got the same smile here.

At this point, the kids surrounded the chocolate cake like vultures. Needless to say, the parents had a hard time putting the kids to sleep afterwards. haha! Meranda thought her mom's lap was the trampoline and she kept going boing boing the whole night.

I just feel so blessed to have a loving husband who never fails to do something special for me each year. Also feel so privileged to have wonderful friends who are willing to go the distance. Just feel so bad that they have to house so many adults and kids and then clean up afterwards. (thanks again V and B if u're reading!!)

Another type of face changing...

I feel extremely unreciprocated with Meranda, i try to carry her, calm her down, play with her... but i swear she cries the moment she sees me.

Mountain man on the other hand has this magic power over her. She shuts up the moment he carries her, she looks longingly into his eyes, she even gives him tht flirtatious smile when she observes him across the room. Maybe she sees me as competition so she's always hostile. I say "Keep your tiny paws off my husband!"

This is pretty much how she looks when she sees me, it's no fake cry okay, its a really loud waaa... with tears and all.

Uh-oh... i've completely riled her up. She cries "Give me mountain man or else..."

ZZzzZzzzz....

heehee.

Monkeying around....

What issit with boys and climbing trees... Lele struggles to overcome a tall obstacle until his underpants are showing! But he loves to show off his underpants anyway, climbing or not climbing tree.

Finally Mountain man to the rescue... Kids who don't grow up in kampung dunno how to climb trees.

"Let me show you how it's done young padawan"...

Orchard Road(trip)

The long weekend was fabulous. i slept in 3 days in a row, wht luxury!

A bunch of us (including Karma C who has fallen into the blogabyss and stopped blogging almost completely) went on a roadtrip to a nearby Orchard on the edge of Beijing for sunday brunch. It was a lovely sunny day. The season for fruits hasn't arrive yet, so the orchard was pretty bare. But it's nice to just get out of city centre and breathe fresh air. But in case u're thinking of making a trip down, late may is supposedly the best time. The apples and pears would be juicy and ready to eat by then.

The buffet brunch was RMB 180 per pax. Variety was lacking but the food tasted great. The trout was fresh, the beef was nicely done, and the apple crumble was divine.





Here are the pictures:




Have no idea wht this flower is. but i love the colour.

Matches her shirt!

This SHOULD be cherry blossoms.

I think my lips look quite octo-mom here. *pout*

I look fat. bleh.