Sometimes I feel like an old soul i really do. My friends are mostly unmarried or just married, but here i am unable to join hen parties, attend weddings, go on holidays because i have 2 kids. I know that when my kids grow up and are able to care for themselves, i'd still be young and i'd have plenty of time to pursue unfinished business, but that day is so far away right now that i can only imagine that it exists.
Day to day i feel so pent up. I spend so many hours each day facing a toddler whom i'm constantly fighting with, a baby who just wants to suckle, and a nanny whom i can barely communicate with. My life revolves around domestic issues and i can't help feeling upset over small things like Mountain Boy refusing to brush his teeth. Sometimes i want to just get a life...
But at the risk of sounding like a cliche, i love my kids sooo much. They are so precious to me that i want to hold and squeeze and kiss them all day. How can your bane be also your boon.
Here's some recent pictures of us. Seeing these pictures do make me thankful of my beautiful family.
Trust me, it's hard to get both kids to look at the camera.
Mountain Boy is caught up with a Dora episode. Lilybuff just wants to suck on his hand.
I have a picture of me like this with my older brother.
The 2 boys wearing matchy-matchy adidas sweater. Mountain Boy just loves dressing like his idol.
6 comments:
I'm with you on this. It's tough nd most times I end up really really tired at night.
I suppose our effort and time and presence will be worth it :)
It's tough for the first few months especially. Just hang on. Think of the positive stuff. Let go of the not-so-important things. Don't brush teeth for a day is perfectly okay :-) Jia you!!
I am single but i ency your life soo much!! :) Dylan is soo cute in the Dora episode photo and love the pic of you, Dylan and Lilybuff, them not looking into the camera is what makes it a better picture.
You are so blessed! :)
lilzsnooze + Kam family> good to know that the sentiment is universal for mothers. The happy kind of tired i suppose.
Jen> When your time comes, you will be glad that you've done all the dreaming and pursuing. I suppose i don't resent my life because i chose it, but it's always hard to look beyond ourselves when the going gets tough. Lester's often says that i have no hardship because i have ayi and i can have leisurely lunches with mommies but it's the farthest thing from the truth and i know he somehow knows it but doesn't understand it.
I think the solution is to create more pockets of me-time for yourself, w/out feeling guilty that you're spending time away from them. For me, my me-time is going to work! I feel refreshed rather than tired when I pick them up from childcare at the end of the day.
If I'm stuck with them so many hours in a day, there's only so much whining and clingy behaviour I can tolerate otherwise I will go crazy ...
jia you!
I think you will look back and feel very proud of yourself.
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