The road to independence

One of the key goals i have for both my children is for them to achieve independence. Being independent must first be preceded by other character traits such as confidence, determination, self-motivation and happiness. 

Recently i've been a lot more conscious about my parenting since that restaurant revelation. Here's the thing, no matter how usually laid back you are it's so easy to fall into the Type A personality when mothering is involved. Some parents (including me at one point) think that being completely meticulous and concerned about our children's well-being is a good thing, makes us feel like better parents you know? Put on his clothes and shoes, make sure he eats his meals, watch him while he plays, help him whenever we can. A good mom does everything we can for our kids right? 


Mountain Boy's school teacher revealed recently that by observing a child's "self-help skills" (wh- what? I've never even heard of self-help skills. It's simple things like putting on their own clothes and shoes, drink water and feed themselves... Essentially helping others by helping themselves) it is easy to deduce the kind of parents the child has. Those who have poor "self-help skills" are generally the ones who have been smothered by supposedly caring parents. 


So no more Type A mom. I now consciously ask myself if I have to do something for him. Can he do it himself? Can i facilitate his learning in some way? For the past 2 days, i feel like i've had some kind of a breakthrough. This is a typical conversation we have now...


Mountain Boy: Mommy, help me put train together... 
Me: You try first. 
Mountain Boy (whines): Mommy please, i cannot i cannot. help...
Me: You can. If I think you cannot do it i will help you, but this you can do. 
Mountain Boy will then try a few times and whine a bit more before finally succeeding with minimal help from me. 
Mountain Boy(beams): I did it. 


Confidence, check. Determination, check. Self-motivation, check. Happiness, check.