Don't think of monkey with 3 hands

....

I know you're now thinking of a monkey with 3 hands right after i said don't do it.

Moral of the story, don't say "don't". Oops i did it again.

Parent Effectiveness Training has proven to be quite insightful the past few sessions. I've been trying the new methods on Mountain Boy who seems to be needing more discipline of late. I'm not sure it's working 100% yet but i think i have the advantage of being more preventive before he gets out of hand.

I just want to quickly jot down the lessons before it all disappears into forgetfulness.

1. Beware of over-praising. Too much praising can sometimes lead a child to believe that he/she must do something in order to get the praise, not because he/she should do it for his/her own good. Kids get so excited over gold stars that sometimes they don't care what they do to get it. The key to praising is being specific. example: "Wow, good job that you know where your belly button is", or "I like how you are putting your toys back in place, thank you!". Be sincere in the praises, ultimately we want children to grow up being self-aware of their strengths and shortcomings.
2. Be less judgmental. Using words like "naughty" or "rude" can sometimes put negativity into our kids. Most of the time they don't know they are being naughty or rude, but chances are if you say they are, they will be. Instead, be descriptive of their behaviour. Example: When you jump up and down the table it makes me worried.
3. Strip it down to their needs. When they are being noisy and active in the house, recognise that they don't mean to disturb you but they have the need to let go of the excess energy. Take them out to play... They key is to understand the needs and channel them to an acceptable behaviour.
4. Be congruent. If you are angry, sound angry. Kids will react to your tone of voice more than the actual words.
5. Never use threats or bribes. Ultimately, we want our kids to do things for their own good, not out of fear or gains.
6. Use positive phrases instead of No or Don't. Say what they can do, provide options so you are planting a new positive idea into their heads. Instead of "don't play with the truck on the balcony", say "Play with your truck in the house".
7. With a pre-verbal child, modifying the environment is important. Don't expect a child to respond to u yelling "don't break the vase" if you don't move the vase away. Try to reduce the occasions where a conflict may occur.

Well i hope these point i've shared will stick. I'm so excited and apprehensive about this whole parenting thing.