Breaking Bad

I looked at my calendar and I can't believe how slowly time has passed. It's been only 5 days since i didn't have a nanny but somehow it feels like an eternity. The muscles are aching, my skin is turning sallow, my hands are so dry from the constant washing of plates, cloths, Mountain Boy's hands, face and buttocks...

I have so much respect for people who can manage without help. There's no possible way of functioning ALONE with a toddler! When i'm cooking or cleaning, he'll be somewhere messing something up and then I'll have to spend more time cleaning... He needs to be constantly guarded in case he comes across anykinds of danger. I've started to childproof everything. I know it's late but Tracy Hogg always said that babyproofing don't really teach children the proper way to keep their hands off, instead we should patiently always tell them "don't touch this it's precious to mommy" Bullcrap.

He is also getting violent! Hitting, yanking my hair. I've never hit him in my life, the only time he witnessed violence was when the nanny taught him how to hit inanimate objects that he banged into but i've stopped that long ago. I've tried speaking in toddler language, being stern, I even tried to emotionally blackmail him by crying. Yelling is my final resort, and that's purely a result of my anger not recommended by any experts. Still, nothing works.

To add fuel to the fire, he has to fall sick. It's the fourth time this winter. A minor cold but it still produces a needy cranky diva of a baby.

B.R.E.A.T.H.E......

Breaking Bad Part 2

Okay it's day 7 without the nanny. I'm doing alot better emotionally (physically i'm wrecked). He is sort of well and we've managed to go out to a couple of baby groups (civilisation, yay!). Me being happy definitely affects his mood too.

I haven't thrown away all my supposedly bulldung knowledge from the child rearing experts. I go back and i think about what i can do differently. Parent Effectiveness Training tells me that when i come to the end of the road with chiding and explaining to a child who just won't listen, it's time to "modify the environment". So childproofing has helped!

The hitting is alot better though it's early to say. I tell him that I'm always here for him and he doesn't need to hit me to get my attention. I also taught him how to "sayang" (means "stroke with love" in malay) and when he hits me i'll tell him to sayang me instead.

Being cute helps. He babbles babystuff like "noooona" for noodles, and "AArrrjkhhh" when he wants to roar like a lion. Yesterday I found about many cotton buds stuffed in his pants when we were out and i had to burst into laughter because it's so random!

His appetite is picking up again so not having to battle eating issues is one big burden off my shoulders. I am pulling back on the self-feeding just because of the mess it creates. He can figure out how to eat when the nanny comes back!

The countdown is on. 9 Days to Jakarta.