Now we are 4

The kids got baptized today. We went back to the same church where mountain man and I got married. What memories it brought back. For old time sake, we took a picture with the rainbow mural (I want to dig up the old picture but I honestly don't know where).

My boy can draw spider!

Chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream w banana chocolate cupcake

Black forest w griottines. Warning: high alcohol content!

Happy Friday cupcakes. It's my second attempt at black forest cupcakes and I'm happy with these. Watch this space if you want my tried and tested recipe.

Buzz.....

Made a bee costume for mountain boys concert performance today.

Fun without nanny

My nanny went back for a week it's been manic managing 2 kids. But hey who's complaining. Kids get 100% mommy daddy time!

Two teeth!

The Method

Okay it should be plural because i used more than 1 method to get Mountain Boy to stop hitting Lilybuff.

Method 1: Parent/Child confrontation.

Step 1. Understand.
The "whys" and the "when" would Mountain Boy want to hit Lil. The obvious answer was because he wants needed my attention. But i realized that this was only part of the reason. Lil actually responds positively(laughs loudly) to Mountain Boy when being hit so Mountain Boy was just being the entertainer that he is.

Step 2. Acknowledge.
I say "So it's fun to hit Meimei because she laughs", or "You really want to show mama something", or "You feel that it's important for me to see what you are doing"....

Wait for him to agree.

Step 3. State why his behavior is hurting his sister, and if possible state how you as a parent feel.
"When you hit your sister, it will cause her pain and that makes me feel upset", Or "When you play with your sister this way, I am worried that you may hurt her". INSTEAD OF "You are hurting her!" or "Stop being so naughty".



Method 2: Storytelling (As in story TELLING, not reading aloud or showing them picture books).

The power of storytelling is just amazing. I've had the pleasure of meeting this Chinese parenting expert who wrote a number of parenting books, and she was sharing about a recent book that she had written on the benefits of storytelling and pedagogical stories. Through stories, children build a sense of imagination and it is very effective in passing on values to them. I was encourage to make up my own stories and i've been conjuring a whole series for Mountain Boy. I really mean to write them down for keepsake. But this series I call "The adventures of Baby Bird and Meimei Bird" is the one that i've been consistently telling to help nurture his sense of responsibility as an older brother.

I've always known that storytelling is powerful but this time i was really inspired. Mountain Boy responds very well to the stories, he even contributes his own details! Sometimes he surprises me by requesting a particular story even though i just kinda made it up on the fly (this silly one on The Tractor and The Cow).

Anyway i'll share the stories soon.

What I've been up to

I've not been blogging extensively these days except for the occasional uploads from my iPhone. I have 2 kids, the connection is slow, and i've been too busy baking.

All of that and...

At the beginning of May, I took an instructor course for P.E.T (Parent Effectiveness Training) which lasted till early June. In order for my instructor certification to be complete, i needed to conduct my first course and i've wasted no time at doing that. So right after the instructor course i organized my first set of participants (thanks to supportive friends) and it's currently ongoing. So yes. I've been so bloody busy.

The instructor course came about because i was at my wits' end with Mountain Boy. Remember the incident where i slapped him? Even though I told myself that it was ok, i knew it really wasn't. Then i came across an email from my P.E.T instructor saying she was conducting a follow-up session on bullying. I attended the thinking that i'd get nods for administering corporal punishment given that my circumstance was "unusual". But NO...  (Hitting story to be continued)

Then i was informed that the instructor training was happening so i decided to just do it.  It's not like i have aim in my life. During the course, my conviction of the method grew along with a deeper understanding of the principles behind it. I was also driven to do my own research on child development and i've been reading a lot of enriching books that i can't wait to share.

It's been a transformational 2 months. Mountain Boy is no longer hitting Lilybuff, and i did it without anyone getting hurt. In fact, Mountain Boy has been the sweetest big brother! I will share my method in the next post.

Oh Lily....

She turned 7 months last week. She is not terribly fond of physical activities (that's my girl!), she is quite contented just lying on her back.

We have a winner (recipe updated)

After 6 different vanilla cupcake recipes, I've found the one. Perfectly moist n crumbly. A tad sweet but that's easily fixed. Recipe coming up shortly.

Okay let me qualify. I think this recipe will be a great base for further flavoring. Can add 1-2 tablespoons of match powder, or fill it with cream etc because it's more moist. I think in terms of texture and appearance, the magnolia bakery vanilla cupcake rivals this and probably taste better on it's own (i.e. without additional flavoring). 

Perfect Vanilla Cupcakes

Recipe by Glorious Treats

Yields- 15-16 cupcakes

1 1/4 cups cake flour

1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

3/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup oil (vegetable, canola or extra light olive oil)

1/2 cup buttermilk

(or 1/2 cup milk plus 1/2 teaspoon white vinegar or lemon juice- add acid to the milk then set aside for 5 minutes before using)

Directions-

* Preheat oven to 350*F.

* In a medium bowl, add cake flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  Stir together with whisk, and set aside.

* In the bowl of an electric mixer, add eggs and beat 10-20 seconds.  Add sugar and continue to beat on medium speed about 30 seconds.  Add vanilla and oil, beat.

* Reduce mixer speed to low and slowly add about half of the flour mixture.  Add half of the milk, then the rest of the flour and the rest of the milk.  Beat until just combined.  Scrap down the side of the bowl.

* The batter will be thin.   Pour batter into a muffin pan prepared with paper liners.  Fill liners about 2/3 full.

* Bake cupcakes in pre-heated oven for 12-14 minutes.

* Cool in pan 1-2 minutes, then remove cupcakes from pan (carefully) and finish cooling on a wire rack.

* Frost as desired when fully cool. 

* Feel free to use this recipe for a cake as well.  The recipe above will work for a 6″ cake.  Double the recipe for an 8″ or 9″ cake.

* A note about Cake Flour-  Cake Flour has a lower protein content than traditional all-purpose flour, which results in a more tender, delicate crumb in the finished product.  If you can not find or access cake flour, feel free to substitute as necessary, but your results will vary from the original recipe.

Happy 7 months Liz!

DIY play dough

Basic ingredient ratios:
2 cups flour
2 cups warm water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar (optional for improved elasticity)

food coloring (liquid, powder, or unsweetened drink mix)
scented oils

Instructions:
Just put everything in pot and bring to boil. stir continuously until liquid hardens into dough. knead to smoothen.

Kitchen Aid stand mixer

I ordered one in yellow pepper but I got one in what I think is majestic yellow. Seller said its a new set but there are some scratches. I really wanted to return it but then I got a 50% discount... So what the heck.

Swim team

One of the high points of having 2 kids- you get more out of one bucket of water!

Matcha Cupcakes again!

Making my own vanilla extract

Finally got round to doing this. I suppose this makes sense given how often I bake.

To make your own vanilla extract you will need:

1 cup of vodka
3 split vanilla pods
Since my vodka bottle is 350ml I put in 5 vanilla pods.

Store in a cool dark place and shake once in a while. Use after 2 months! Can keep adding more vodka and used vanilla pods into the jar.

Yay!

Mocha cupcakes with mocha buttercream frosting

Recipe from Brown Eyed Baker. 

Mocha Cupcakes

Yield: 12 cupcakes

Prep Time: 15 minutes Baking Time: 17-20 minutes

1-1/3 all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
½ cup whole milk
½ cup strong brewed coffee
1½ teaspoons espresso powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
½ cup granulated sugar
½ cup light brown sugar
1 egg, at room temperature

1. Mix the espresso powder into the brewed coffee until dissolved; set aside to cool to room temperature.

2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a standard-size muffin tin with paper liners.

3. Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

4. Beat the butter and both sugars together on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 2-3 minutes. Add the egg and beat until combined. In a measuring cup, combine the milk, brewed coffee mixture and vanilla. Slowly add the flour mixture, alternating with the coffee mixture, ending with the flour mixture.

5. Divide the batter evenly between the 12 liners. Baking for 17-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting cupcakes.

(Cupcake recipe adapted from My Baking Addiction)

Espresso Buttercream Frosting

Makes enough to frost 12 cupcakes

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2½ cups powdered sugar
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1½ teaspoons espresso powder

1. Mix the espresso powder into the vanilla until dissolved; set aside.

2. Using the whisk attachment of a stand mixer, whip the butter on medium-high speed for 5 minutes, stopping once to scrape the sides of the bowl. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the powdered sugar a little at a time, waiting until it is mostly incorporated before adding more. Once all of the powdered sugar has been added, scrape the sides of the bowl and increase the speed to medium-high and whip until fluffy, about a minute or two. Add the espresso and vanilla mixture and continue to mix at medium-high until it is completely incorporated, scraping the sides as necessary.

Decorating tips: I used round tips and kept dotting!

Revisiting 798

Mountain man and I haven't been back to the 798 art district since before I found out I was pregnant with Mountain Boy. Come to think of it I don't know why we don't go there more often. It's a gorgeous place filled with a vibrant youthful energy. Because we had to lug two kids we only covered a very small area but we will definitely go back there more often.

Salt dough fun

Thanks to my niece Shannon, mountain boy and I had a whole afternoon of fun with salt dough.

Beijing Badaling Safari Family Excursion

Highly recommend going there. But drive your own car in. The public transport isn't great and they really limit you to one seat per ticket. The kids and bags have to go on our laps.

But it was great because we got really close to the animals, and we even fed milk to the bears! It's great fun.

Furry friends

Despite my very elaborate efforts to get him to eat breakfast he still wasn't actually into the food as much as he was into the decorating and cutting.

Stay home activity 3

Cupcake garden made by mama n mountain boy.

Stay home activity 2

Helping mama bake lemon cupcakes! He is pretty good w the instructions.

Paper City

Mountain Boy had been sick for 3 days so we are both going loco at home.

In a moment of brilliance i was inspired by mb to draw some roads for his Tomicas, one thing led to another and we built an entire make believe city with endless possibilities!

To make your own paper city, you will need:
Colored paper (or white is fine!)
Markers
Sticky tape
Your child's favourite Tomicas
His imagination

Start with a blank piece and draw a cross junction. Involve the child by asking him where he would like to go. Mountain boy said he wanted to go to the airport, zoo, beach, swimming pool, school (yes he loves school and we even drew 3 of his friends), shopping mall, and a tunnel! Just keep adding more paper with each destination and you have yourself a paper city, built 100%from degradable materials.

He had a good time fetching his "friends" from school and going to a few different places. Of course his little excursion involved a number of car crashes n aeroplane explosions!

Off to a baby date lunch

Out and about

For the first time I am taking lil out without mountain boy. Isn't she adorable and amazing? She has a glorious 2.5hr nap prior to this. Maybe she knows that I'm going to take her out so she has to be on her best behavior.

Stay home mom plus stay home kids equal crazy

The man I wanted to marry...

....when I was 13. I finally saw him in real person yesterday.So Starstruck i was.

ER visit number 5

Not counting the false alarm visits, this is the fifth time mountain boy went to the er for an injury. He fell backwards and hit his neck on a chair, afterwards he complained n shrieked from pain whenever he moved.. No broken bones but he needs to keep the brace because it comforts him. Sigh...

I am in awe of these beautifully delish coconut cream cupcakes from carrot top mom. Omg omg omg... Are the mini cupcakes cute or what! The mini ones are best for those who don't want to commit to the whole cupcake. But then again aren't cupcakes for those who don't want to commit to an entire cake? Commitment problems apparently make adorable cupcakes. I'm obviously going coconuts over these cupcakes.

Coconut Cream Cupcakes

Yields 18 cupcakes

INGREDIENTS

• Cupcakes:
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 1/3 cups sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup reduced coconut milk (NOT Reduced Fat. See below), room temperature (TOTAL, begin with 2 14oz cans of coconut milk)

• Frosting:
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 8 cups powdered sugar
• 2/3 cup reduced coconut milk (see above), room temperature
• 2 Tablespoons vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups unsweetened flaked coconut, (optional, for garnish)

DIRECTIONS

1. For reduced coconut milk: Bring 2 cans (14 ounces each) coconut milk to boil in large deep saucepan over medium heat (coconut milk will boil up high in pan). Boil until reduced to 1 2/3 cups, stirring occasionally, 30-45 minutes. Transfer to small bowl. Cover; chill (coconut milk will settle slightly and thicken as it cools). DO THIS AHEAD, allowing to chill overnight: Can be made 2 days ahead. Keep chilled, allowing to come to room temperature when ready for use.
2. For cupcakes: Position rack in center of oven; preheat to 350°F. Line eighteen muffin tins with paper liners. Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt in medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat butter in large bowl until smooth. Add sugar; beat on medium-high speed until well blended, about 2 minutes. Add vanilla. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating and scraping sides well after each addition. Add half of flour mixture; mix on low speed just until blended. Do not overblend. Add 1 cup reduced coconut milk; mix just until blended. Add remaining flour mixture; mix on low speed just until blended. Divide batter among muffin cups. Bake cupcakes until tops spring back when gently touched, about 20 minutes. Transfer cupcakes in pans to rack; cool 10 minutes. Carefully remove cupcakes from pans and cool completely on rack.
3. For Frosting: Cream butter on high for 2 minutes. Add powdered sugar, reduced coconut milk, and vanilla extract. Beat gradually at first, until combined. Beat on high for an additional 2-3 minutes, or until smooth and creamy.
4. Frost cooled cupcakes. Sprinkle with coconut if desired, for garnish. (They will have plenty of coconut flavor without the garnish!)
5. Do not refrigerate. As with all my cupcake recipes, the flavors are best at room temperature! 

Lily Inspired: Esteemed

Dear Lilybuff,

If you're reading my entries chronologically down the years, you may find that my entries to you are not chronologically organized according to the natural progression of your life. Sorry about that, i'm haphazard that way.

4 years ago on this date, your dad and I got married. The days were long but the years went by quickly. Your dad recently uploaded our wedding pictures unto the new iPad3 that he just bought. I looked at the pictures feeling both happy and sad because it reminded me of the beautiful yesteryears...Or rather the yesteryears where I was still beautiful/slim. I have been lamenting about how fat i've gotten after 2 kids. He half-jokes about how he knew i was going to be big after he met my mom (sorry mom). And frankly i knew this was coming but i just didn't think it'd be so fast. He of course then tells me that he too has gotten fat. True. But it doesn't make me feel better about myself.

The point of this entry is not how you should keep yourself slim, because i obviously don't know the secret to that. But I just wanna say that you need to be able to find a man who loves you and your potentially expanding hips/waistline/thighs/arms/feet (yes feet too). And the secret to finding a man who loves you is to love yourself first. 

I had a chat with Mountain Boy's teacher, she's someone whom i respect and run to for advice on parenting. She said that for girls, a high self-esteem is very important. (Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth). Without which the girl may get into future trouble when she seeks validation from the wrong sources. Girls with low self-esteem are prone to sexual abuse, unwanted pregnancies, prostitution etc. And as a mother, it's my duty to protect you, to love you, and to teach you how to love yourself.

A friend once told me... "A boy must by paupered, a girl must be pampered". Actually i coined the english version myself and i'm proud of it, but it's derived from a chinese saying. Reason being a boy needs to be toughened and trained so that he can be the head of the family, but a girl on the other hand needs to be showered with constant love and attention so that she will have high expectations of her future husband. Sounds like a recipe for neediness but it's just the opposite. The more secure you are, the less needy you will be, makes sense? It's more about providing a safe and honest environment where you can develop a sense of self-worth. I say honest because I will let you know when I think you are doing well and when you are not, otherwise i'd just be nurturing an egomaniac which is not the goal here.

It's going to be a long process but we're in this together. 

PS: Happy Thirdmay Mountain Man. Love your expanding waistline too.

Very hot

Happy Thirdmay!

Well we are celebrating our anniversary early this year, under the coconut trees of Sanya in Hainan Island. Love being back in the tropics but my three other pale-skinned family members are completely roasted!

你会说中文吗？

I've officially become the mandarin speaking parent. It is something mountain man and I have decided to implement after realizing that our son can't really speak mandarin beyond the basic survival language such as niao-niao (which arguably isn't even real Chinese) and 我肚子饿（I'm hungry), 我要棒棒糖 (I want lollipop). I feel he can do better ("growl" says the tiger mom).

Frankly I'm having a bit of trouble switching because I have limited Chinese vocab, and the brain doesn't think in Chinese so my reaction is a lot slower. Mountain boy is also getting used to the transition because he is normally rather chatty but now he just goes "uhm" when spoken to in Chinese. Also when he has his meltdowns he gets more frustrated because he can't express himself that well in the new tongue. I usually just tell him to speak in English in those instances and hopefully in time he can convert.

But I have to say that kids learn fast. It's week 1 of Chinese immersion and already I feel that mountain boy is a lot more confident in forming Chinese sentences, and he can recognize quite a number of Chinese characters. Attaboy!

Sent from my iPhone

Spring Cupcakes

White chocolate cupcakes w chocolate buttercream. I'm quite happy with some of the piping. I've been googling tutorials online I think for a first I did ok. But im not a fan of regular buttercream I think I'll stick to dark chocolate frosting in the future.

Sleeping beauty

Are you done with your growth spurt yet? Mommy needs her beauty sleep stop waking up at night.

Daddy's girl

Bake sale for charity

I've never done a bake sale. Made this beautiful oatmeal cookies again I hope they will run out. I also invested (with mountain mans money of course) some moolah to sell fresh juice but it seems that my driver bought too many fruits so I don't know if I'll be able to sell it all. Let's hope tomorrow will be sunny and bright, even though the weather report says cloudy.

Boot camp baby

The insurance card for Lilybuff was finally sorted out last week so i took Lily to her 2nd check-up at 5 months! I was called "relaxed" by the pd but I think she was being polite.

Anyway at 5 months, her fine motor skills are pretty good. Emotional development on track. But she is not rolling over! I admit that I dont want her to be too active like her brother because he has gotten into so many accidents, but after being called fat and lazy (though not in the same sentence) in one check-up, it's time to take matters into my own hands.

I am going to start her on swimming twice a week. And at least 1-2hrs of tummy time each day. It's gonna involve a lot of cheering and clapping but hell she better shape up before her 6th month check up!

Weaves piping

Tennis again

Sporty is not a word often used to describe me. I don't hate exercise, I just never really excelled in anything sports related. I swim really slow, I run slower than a tortoise, I close eyes when a ball is coming at me, and my aim is bad, like seriously.

Ive been playing tennis for 20 over years. It's a sport I enjoy but only for leisure. I used to play tennis for the school, but frankly I rather get benched because I clam up during tournaments it's very very embarrassing. When I was in junior college I decided to quit tennis because I couldn't take the pressure. It wasn't the long hours of training, or how hard it was on my body. It was my pride that couldn't bear losing another tournament and letting my teammates down.

Anyway, now that mountain boy goes to school I can spare some time during the day, just 1 hr a week to play and practice. Hopefully it's something mountain man can pick up so we can play together when we grow old.

Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting

I combined the regular Hershey's cupcakes recipe with carrot top moms kickass cream cheese frosting. Very yummy!

Delicious as it is, I have a complaint about the Hershey cupcake recipe. The batter is quite thin so cupcakes don't rise evenly. Recipe works better as a regular cake.

You are my sunshine

She has the kind of smile that makes you smile with her. I'm so crazy about her right now.

The day he got slapped

Some of you may know that I am a huge advocate of PET (Parent Effectiveness Training). The PET method mostly requires a lot of active listening, discussing, problem solving, consulting, all the sugar, spice, and everything nice. No form of corporal punishment should be used under any circumstances, you just talk things out.

BUT.

As with most things theoretical, it can also be impractical.

Mountain Boy is quite a passionate and boisterous boy. Sometimes he expresses himself through rather physical methods such as punching and kicking (inanimate objects mostly). It's not uncommon and i do encourage him to release this energy. But what I am most worried about is when he lays his hands on Lilybuff, it happened before. Potentially he thinks it's fun, but mostly he does it to get our attention. I've taught him and he knows he can simply say "Mama/Daddy look at me" when he feels that he is not getting enough airtime from us. But kids being kids, they have a memory capacity no bigger than a goldfish.

I live in a household where the adult to child ratio is 1:1. The nanny and I have to take turns to do stuff so at least one of is keeping an eye on the children. But sometimes this system lapses and the kids will be left on their own for seconds or even minutes during the day. Panic always hits me whenever i realize that no one is supervising them.

So in my desperate need for Mountain Boy to understand why physical abuse is bad, i've rationalized the used of corporal punishment at home, limited to only when Mountain Boy hits Lilybuff. In fact, Mountain Man delivered the first sentence, he hit Mountain Boy's knuckles with his drum stick. OUCH.

Yesterday on our way home from school, Mountain Boy decided to see if I would react by slapping me in the face. My blood temperature started boiling immediately and i asked if he wanted to know what it was like to be slapped, he defiantly replied "YES!". I explained that it was extremely painful and i felt hurt. Of course i didn't proceed to slap him but i might as well have because the first thing he did when he saw Lilybuff was to slap her in the face. Ooh that got my attention alright. I told him that he hurt his sister and that i was going to slap him (yes i warned him first). Again he said "YES!", so i did. I gave him a good one like i've been a professional slapper all my life. He bawled. The right side of his cheek was glowing for a while.

After the incident I didn't even feel bad, or rather I didn't think I should feel bad. Could I have slapped him somewhere other than the face? No because it's so much more painful to be slapped on the face! Could I have slapped him less hard? No because if it didn't hurt then i'd be wasting this whole experience wouldn't i? I told myself that the punishment fit the crime.

But after stewing on it for a few more hours, I can't help but question if I've negatively demonstrated that violence is the answer to violence. Since implementing corporal punishment at home, did the incidences of physical abuse decrease because he understands that physical abuse is bad, or is he just afraid to hit others because I'm there, but what if i'm not there? Of course we talked about the slap. I explained that I didn't want to hit him but i had to because i wanted to show him that it was painful.

Frankly I admit that i'm still new at this. Mountain Boy if you're reading down the road and still remember how Mom slapped you, i really didn't want to do it. =(

Fun with photobooth

When stars have no stylists...

It's late and internet connection is retarded so i'll be short. 

Geri Halliwell ( aka Ginger Spice)

Wait? What's wrong with this she looks adorable!!

Ohk.. Once a spice girl not always a spice girl. 

Multiple offender Anne Hathaway. She has such a tragic street style i just want to dig my eyes out.

And one would think stripes is supposed to be slimming!

I double checked. She was not on set. I'd gladly be proven wrong. 

Something Savoury

I call it Cami's scrolls after my friend who introduced it to me. Recipe coming right up!