Elevator moments

Hollywood has portrayed too many funny moments in the elevator. In Grey's Anatomy (or Private Practice), many events happen in the lift, people profess their feelings for each other, passionately make out, or cry and have a psychotic moment when they're alone. In Desperate Housewives, Gabrielle and the Mayor shared a quickie when the lift malfunctioned. In Sex and the City, Miranda bumped into her ex-lover and decided to take the stairs for as long as she lived in the building.

I wish the truth was closer to what tinseltown portrays. The most awkward moment in a day is probably in the elevator. Its almost like entering twilight zone, a place where nothing happens.

Its too short for a real conversation to happen, but too long for it not to be awkward. When the lift is crowded, u can't speak too loud lest half the building hears it, but not saying anything creates this vacuum like sound that is too quiet for comfort.

The lift is one place where weather talk suddenly becomes interesting and engaging.
"Its so hot today, how much higher is the mercury gonna climb?"
" Yes but the weather reports say it'll rain tomorrow"
"Oh i see, wow the weather is indeed erratic, its crazy..." Silence.

Or perhaps a casual comment on today's outfit.
"You look great today"
"Oh thanks yes i bought this dress from XX place, they sell nice dresses"
"Oh really you must tell me where it is?"
"uhm well its along XX road (that probably has a million shops), u gotta make a left turn at Y road and its at the 3rd shop..." Lift door opens, and nobody bothers to follow up with the actual location of the place. But key take out is, always wear a nice outfit in case u have to make conversations in the lift.

For those who've experienced awkward elevator moments, here are some tips for you...

Employ the use of props
1. Listen to the Ipod, blast it so loud that you can't hear people say hi.
2. Wear sunglasses. Glaring lift lights can be blinding, but it also avoids eye contact.
3. Pretend to sms someone when actually u're just clearing your inbox.
4. Read a book.

When you see someone you don't want to spend the next 1 minute with..
1. Take another lift, make sure the person doesn't see you in case they figure out that you're avoiding them. If they enter the lift after you, immediately use props.
2. Pretend that you forgot something and rush off somewhere.
3. Turn to someone you like and do small talk with them instead. At least it shows u're popular and have friends.

When you see someone in the building you've been eyeing but haven't made eye contact...(BB i am not doing these i promise)
1. Go into the lift and immediately press the top most floor. Its really stalky but at least u know which floor the person gets off. Then you'll know which company he works for and can see if u have friends in that company who can help you find out more.
2. When in lift, make eye contact and smile, but be conscious of looking sexy because the distance in the lift is too close for him not to notice ur sexy neck or your beautiful hair.

Elevator etiquette- We need to observe some rules to make everyone's minute a pleasant one.
1. There's always time to take another lift. Seriously, one thing i hate is when the lift door is about the close, and someone outside presses the button to re-open the door. I mean come on, take another lift, its not life and death.
2. Move forward when the lift empties. Especially in China, morning lift journies are sardine packed, and the Chinese don't know the concept of personal space, even as the lift slowly empties, they never know how to move forward to create more space at the back.
3. Farting in the lift. Need i say anymore?

Tell us your funny lift experiences... Share the exasperation... =)