Tuesday 28 October 2008

smooth operata...

I felt absolutely fresh this morning cos i had a solid 8 hour sleep last night. Tra-la-la got into a lift and saw this black man ( or rather "mahn") dressed in an african costume. abit like this picture...

















Our conversation goes like this...
Mahn: Good Morning how are you?
Me: Faabulous thank you!
Mahn: oh u speak very good english! (I'm thinking, if i'm local i wouldn't be staying in a damn hotel right)
Me: Oh! thank you (still being gracious)
Mahn: So what do u do?
Me: *frown*, you mean what do i work as?
Mahn: uhh... yeah (like in a, i didn't think about my question carefully beforehand cos i was small talking)
Me: Media (i hardly tell strangers the truth about my occupation so i usually lie abit)
Mahn: Oh I'm a diplomat. (and i'm thinking, A. i didn't ask for ur occupation, and B. Ur country must be ill-treating u cos this hotel is CRAPulous)
Me: Oh!
Mahn: so you u like to give me your numba?
Me: NO........ (lift door opens)
Mahn: why not?
Me: i don't like to entertain....

I'm like WHAT THE... all i could come up with was, "I don't like to entertain"??My last retort was totally unintelligent. and frankly even after sitting here for a while writing this, i still can't come up with a good answer. What can i say without being offensive and personal... but u know what, there is no polite rejection when it comes to this.

So i turned to trustworthy google... and i've compiled the best answers IMO to empower women to bat off horrible pick-up lines.
  1. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
  2. After hearing a pick-up line: Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
  3. "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
  4. Sure, my number is 911-8473
  5. And here's one including the correct snappy return Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized, screw off!" (this one is dedicated to mountain man... my unoriginal husband who loves this pick-up line)
  6. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?, Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
  7. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
  8. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine...

This reminds me of when i was back in uni, during my clubbing days... i used to give my girlfriend and myself alternative hard to pronounce names so people can't bring themselves to talk to us...

I was Fatimah (sorry to all fatimahs out there i don't think it's a bad name, it's just totally not me so it throws people off), and my friend was Vecepia... The plan usually backfires cos my friend will turn to me and... "STEL! wht did u say my name was again?"

4 comments:

Gingerblossom said...

Hilarious! Daniel's suggestion is " I don't have a phone". Mine, "Cos my hubby and I are just not into that kinda of thing."... either way, I can't think of a not silly/ insulting retort.

karma chameleon said...

HAhaha. No. 2 on your list is my fav.

QooFamily Blog said...

a man once approached me for a dance when i was sitting at the bar counter. My reply:"I think you are shorter than me"..heehee

lovexiaolongbao said...

gingerblossom> hahaha! how about, my girlfriend and i are not into tht kind of thing...

Karma> my favourite is the 911 one. in china i think we can pull it off, but too bad i don't know the emergency numbers here. sheet better go check.

Qoo> tht's just downright insulting! haha.